Why My Confidence Won’t Come From Having Lips Like Kylie’s (And Where It Will)

‘Confidence’ is a word that’s thrown around a lot these days.

In a world where women are encouraged to have a butt like J.Lo’s, a torso like Kate Upton’s, and lips like Kylie Jenner’s, we’re likely to find ourselves looking in the mirror and feeling subpar (or worse.)

But in the same breath, we’re told by various self-image campaigns that we should simply be happy with who we are, be content with our bodies (regardless of what we look like), and keep the standard that people (particularly men) judge us based on our personalities.

And as if it’s not hard enough to keep up with all of that, we’re also reminded that confidence is key.

Confidence. K.

It’s not exactly a breeze to muster any confidence under the pressure to look the right way, let alone like yourself despite the fact that you don’t [look like you just sucked on a shot glass for 10 minutes.]

So what’s a girl to do?

Insecurity comes in all shapes and sizes – both literally and figuratively. My own insecurities span a wide range of topics – from body image to work performance to my sometimes in-your-face personality (was I talking too much in that work meeting today? Probably).

For other women, insecurity might mean something entirely different. Regardless of the source, how does one combat insecurity and replace it with confidence?

Fr. Mike Schmitz (aka the man) touched on this briefly in his podcast a few weeks back. First and foremost, I was surprised to learn that the origins of the word ‘confidence’ actually mean, “with faith,” in Latin. So when we encourage women to “be confident,” what we’re essentially encouraging them to do is “have faith”… but have faith in what, exactly?

Fr. Mike went on to say that faith in oneself is utterly useless because there is a limit to our ability to maintain confidence in ourselves – mostly because there is a limit to our ability to do things right.

Faith in God, however, is entirely boundless.

Placing our confidence in God, then, is the ultimate solution.

I might not have the power to control my circumstances; I might encounter challenges at work, in my relationships, or in my personal life. Or I might simply screw up – I might skip a few work outs or spend too much money on Starbucks, or I might mishandle a confrontation and wind up regretting it later. But confidence in God that it will, in the end, be okay, can get me through that.

And additionally, the practice of forgiving myself and moving on from the past when those things happen is not only healthy, but is the right thing to do. God is merciful and He forgives, so why can’t I?

I am not entirely confident in myself. I fall constantly and often make the same mistakes over that leave me banging my head against a wall (figuratively, of course). I do, however, have the UTMOST faith that God is working in my life to make those mistakes worthwhile and guide me along the right path in the meantime.

Confidence in Him and His will for me is more than enough, and is much more likely to bring me a happy life than having lips like Kylie Jenner’s ever could.